I or me

One of the most basic sociological concepts is that of the interplay of I vs. me - two aspects of the self that help define us. The I and the me are constantly interacting, and represent complimentary social forces that shape our lives. As an internalized form of people's perceived opinions, the me tells us how others think we should act. It helps us fit into set roles, such as "student" or "manager," and allows us to judge appropriate behavior in a variety of situations. The I, on the other hand, comes from inside. It is creative and impulsive, and lets us think independently.

The back and forth nature of this relationship factors into every decision that we make, both conscious and unconscious. In a meeting at work, our me may tell us that, as junior level employees, we should stay quiet and absorb our surroundings. But if we have a good idea, our I may convince us to speak up. On a less overt level, our me convinced us to wear professional clothing, even though our I would have been more comfortable in shorts and sandals. If we were to exist only as me's, we would be total conformists, with no unique traits. Conversely, if we were only I's, we would have no concept of what is socially accepted, and be as inept as infants or as dangerous as sociopaths. The different sides of our nature combine to make us the socially functional, yet unique individuals that we are.

It's interesting to look at decisions that I've made and consider the I and the me. Some of my greatest memories and my biggest regrets stem from brash decisions made against my better judgment and opportunities missed because of timidity or complacency. These concepts can help you make sense of other people's choices too. Of course the idea of the I and the me is an extreme oversimplification of the forces at play in our life, and it's not always a great way of analyzing things. But that's why I think sociology is so cool. You can apply so much of it to your everyday life without really having to buy into all of it at once.